This is an old blog that I started in 2006. I keep it because it has a lot of historical data and people still come here. As of September 2016, no new updates will be made here. All new blog posts and writing/publishing related news will be posted over on my new site at

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Don't Miss the Warning Signs

By Jennifer Hudson Taylor

In reviewing the Old Testament story of Samson and Delilah, it's hard for me not to sit back and wonder, was he crazy? Three times she asked him to reveal how he would lose his God-given strength and three times he tested her by giving her a false answer. Each time she failed by betraying him to her people, the Philistines. The Bible says Samson fell in love with Delilah. He was blinded by his feelings for her. Why did he break down and give her the truth? Why not break up with her and move on?

I could ask this very same question of so many people today. The signs are there while they are dating long before they leap into that serious commitment of Holy Matrimony. Everyone around them can see the signs, but them. God has done all He can, but you can't make a person blinded by love, infatuation, or emotion see until it's too late. God gave them free will and He won't take back that gift.

The only answer of advice I can offer is to date someone for a couple of years, long enough for the newness of the relationship to wear off. Give both of yourselves enough time to go through some trials together. This will help you determine a lot about a person's character. Are they who you thought they were? The other thing is to make sure the person stays in his or her place. Do not place them on a pedestal, especially above God. Keep Him first and test your relationship against the basic principles in the Bible. Does this person enhance your relationship with God or subtly wedge a gap in your relationship with God?

These can be some difficult questions to ponder, especially if you start to realize some things that you don't want to see. It can be painful and uncomfortable. Keep in mind that some of these issues can be worked on and overcome, but not if you refuse to admit that they exist. Don't miss the signs that God is trying to show you.

Feel free to share some advice if you would like. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we can help others avoid some of the painful situations we've been through or offer an understanding heart and ear.


Great post!
I think it's also important to listen those around us if they have concerns - parents, siblings, best friends, etc. These are people really are looking out for your best interest, and if they have concerns about someone you are dating it is wise to listen to them. At least allow that it's possible they are right. They probably aren't trying to rain on your parade, they are trying to keep you from harm.

When I met my husband, he was the first boyfriend I had ever had who challenged me to be a better person and who helped me draw closer to God. He was the first one who had ever made sure Christ was the most important person in our relationship and I would advise any young woman to look for that in a potential spouse. If they don't do that when you are dating, they won't do that when you are married.

Great reminder. Sadly, it seems that young people want to turn to parents and older siblings last and take the advice of young friends who don't have any more experience or insight than they do.

We have to remember not to surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we WANT to hear, but love us enough to tell us what we sometimes DON't want to hear and be mature enough to recognize the difference.