By Jennifer Hudson Taylor
My favorite Christmas song is O' Holy Night. Doesn't the sound of that go along with my burning candle? My dad loves The Little Drummer Boy. What's your favorite?
This year we are struggling to get into the Christmas spirit, which is quite unusual for me. A few years ago, I'd be singing and playing Christmas songs in October and driving everyone in my family nuts by Christmas. This year I haven't felt that joy and neither has my husband. I think it may be because we know we're losing a loved one. While we are thankful to have one more Christmas with him, it doesn't take away the sadness that it is the last.
If you haven't seen one of my previous posts, my father-in-law is dying of stage 4 lung cancer. He has a PET scan next week to see if it has spread. He's now coughing up a lot of blood and we are told this is normal, but he's starting to have quite a bit of pain that is concerning us.
After my husband told me about their doctor visit yesterday, it made me wonder about how such a thing was diagnosed in the past. Before all the CT and PET scans and MRI's, how was cancer diagnosed or was it? With him coughing up so much blood, would they have misdiagnosed him as having TB? I wonder how many people were thought to have TB, but really had lung cancer or something else?
All this wondering brings me to another question. (Can you tell I'm an analyzer?) Is it better to know you only have 3-6 months to die, or not know? People in the 18th and 19th centuries didn't always know. They might have noticed failing health, but they didn't know how long they could go on feeling like so weak and different. Or perhaps, it's worse to know you aren't feeling well, but NOT why. Sometimes it's the NOT KNOWING that can drive us as bonkers as THE KNOWING.
Forgive me for the sporadic blog posts this week. I wasn't sure what to write about and my thoughts weren't always on the focus of this blog. In spite of our recent news, and the news that my father must have some minor upcoming surgeries, I HAVE been writing as it is often my therapy. However, I've been experiencing a lack of energy, which I'm hoping to overcome after the holidays. My husband and I plan to put ourselves on a new healthy diet, and get back on an exercise schedule. I do believe that will help.
We appreciate everyone's prayers. So many have written to say that you are praying for our family and we are so thankful. Bless you!
Don't forget to tell which Christmas song is your favorite! Today I'm focusing on HAPPY thoughts and Christmas parties and spending time with friends.