This is an old blog that I started in 2006. I keep it because it has a lot of historical data and people still come here. As of September 2016, no new updates will be made here. All new blog posts and writing/publishing related news will be posted over on my new site at www.jenniferhudsontaylor.net.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Devotion - Exercising Faith

By Jennifer Hudson Taylor

I go through roller coaster rides where I'm up and down about my writing. For a while I'm okay that publication is taking so long. But then I get weary and I start whining again. Fortunately for most, I complain to God and my husband--and once in a while to close friends or my mom. The rest of the time I'm holding it in like a helium balloon about to burst. In the meantime, I keep writing, learning, and trying to get better. 

My daughter is going through a little trial in life that has a few growing pains with it. I can't discuss it here, but everyday she asks, "Mommy, will you get off the computer and spend time with me?" I spend all day working for another company, but I need the paycheck. So I have to split my awake hours between family and writing or go without sleep and then I'm ill. She comes first. She's my precious girl and will only be young once. 

On and on goes the guilt. Am I neglecting my husband, my daughter, or God? Did I write enough this week? You can't expect to get published if you don't keep writing--or at least that is what most everyone in the industry says. And then there are the days when I come home and I don't think I can stand looking at another computer screen after eight hours of it. My eyes hurt and burn so bad.

Yesterday my husband said, "Have you ever considered that maybe God has you in a holding pattern for Celina? She needs you right now and if you had to work a full-time job, plus work around deadlines that you couldn't avoid, you wouldn't be able to give her the time she needs."

Yes, I have considered this, but sometimes I need to be reminded. 

Then my faith kicks in. God is God. He's the ultimate! He's the Alpha and Omega! He's Everything Good and Holy! He's my Deliverer! He's a Miracle God!

God can always make miracles happen. I'm still praying, hoping, and believing God will bless my husband's business and my writing so I will not have to work outside the home. Therefore, my writing deadlines can be met while Celina is in school. I have to keep hoping for this--isn't that part of faith? Sometimes exercising faith is to keep believing when everyone around you is shaking their heads and giving you looks of pity like when is she ever going to learn?

Come on God, give me the strength to outlast them another day.

3 comments:

Thanks for this post - I have an 8-month old who asks me the same question without so many words, and I'm a wedding photographer trying to process thousands of digital images. Most days, I don't even have time to think about the laundry. Some days, I live under *so much* guilt, and I wonder if anybody would tell me it's okay to do what I need to do with Piper and let the wedding photos sit for a bit. I hadn't considered what God's plan in all this might be.

Thank you for sharing...

Praying God gives you all you need and more!
Have a blessed Easter!

I'm with you Jenn. At least you are writing, though. I have many ideas in my head, but I have put them aside to concentrate on work and free time is for family. The rest is for cleaning and sleep! Fun! But God has His plan. And I'm just hoping I'm on the right path. I know you are too.

Have a wonderful Easter!