Because of his strange behaviors in the past, some of the other children in the neighborhood have stopped playing with him and have left him alone and isolated. He really needs other children to play with and his mother explained all of this to me asking if my daughter could play with him. My daughter is nine and most of the friends she plays with are girls. The boys in the neighborhood are really too old for him. I told her that he could definitely play with my daughter anytime.
Well, I didn't realize how he would be over everyday. My husband says he literally waits in the yard for my daughter to get home and he follows her around as soon as she gets in. He writes her cute little letters. However, I'm noticing that my daughter needs a break some and she's wanting some alone time with the girls. She feels uncomfortable having him around when they're doing "girlie things" like painting their toenails, fixing up their hair, playing dress-up, etc. He gets bored because he wants to be out riding bikes, swinging, playing "boy-things."
Yesterday at dinner, we discovered that my daughter told him,"I don't want to play with you today, I just want to play with the girls." He left feeling sad and hurt. We asked her how she would feel if one of her friends said the same thing to her. Her response was, "But, Mommy, I was nice when I said it. I wasn't mean at all." I tried to explain that there's no nice way to tell someone you don't want to play with them. Yet, I didn't want to force her. I know she needs some down time once in a while.
She was so upset that she couldn't finish dinner and told us she thought she should go over and apologize. We told her we thought it would be a good idea. She went by herself, still wiping tears from her face, and told him that she didn't mean to hurt his feelings and that she could play with him tomorrow. We were so proud of her. When she came back. She finally stopped crying and could finish eating her dinner.
I'm going to give her some suggestions as to how to tell him when she wants to play "girlie things" with the girls without hurting his feelings. She could simply let him know that they are going to paint nails and put on make-up. I feel quite certain he wouldn't want to participate, and hopefully, this wouldn't hurt his feelings.
It was hard to watch her cry as she realized what she had done. Yet, I knew she needed to be told and that we had to make her aware of being sensitive of his feelings. Without us telling her, she knew the right thing to do, and she did it.
Please visit my website at www.authorjenniferhudsontaylor.com.